dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
