i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
