seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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