2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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