I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
