I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
