when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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