I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
