At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize