I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
