No more Irish car bombs ever.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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