You're so nebulous sometimes
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
