you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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