But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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