I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
