I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize