so explain again why im purple
no
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
