Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
