i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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