11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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