Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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