Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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