I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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