Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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