You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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