She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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