oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
