hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I currently don't understand fingers.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
