My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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