I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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