gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
