Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
