i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
