sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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