So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize