No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
