Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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