Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
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It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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