And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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