I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
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maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I believe in your delicious
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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