Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
