She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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