Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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