dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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