Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drake has all the answers
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
