Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
there is puke in my bra ... again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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