That's when you crack a 10am beer
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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