Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
