I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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