Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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