Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
