Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
