what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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