Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
