just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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