They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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