I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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