i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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