I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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