I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
