I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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