It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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