Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
