No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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