Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
