Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
