We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
