if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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