his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
