my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
